I'm always (W)aiting

Written by Steven H (waiting@xmail.net)

I was once sad and lonely
I'm not even sad or angry
I'm always being sincere right now
I am heartbroken or killed into bits
That tore into small pieces and threw
Every piece burned into a fire

/*-*/. . . Serendipity . . ./*-*/

It's not easy for me to stand
As someone takes your hand
But as long as someone treats you well
I'll be waiting for someone
Waiting for someone or something
I will always wait for you

/*-*/. . . Fake . . ./*-*/

I did sense love with some form of relationship
Losing a heart which the other person does not understand
Breaking up, because of moving into a different location
After a couple of years later that the person comes back
Change into a different character and personality
Forgetting all the previous memories which was all erased
To hide my every feelings from the past with friends and also my special relationship

/*-*/. . . Lying . . ./*-*/

Nobody could hear my cries at night
Nobody can see me
They can only see me as lies
I might not exist and can not see them
Nobody could see the pain I was feeling
Even if I needed help, and would discriminate or target me aggressively
They would think I'm not normal
Nobody act for normal for once, and I felt I was in a dark room

/*-*/. . . Dark . . ./*-*/

I will be laughing and crying, and no one really cared
Until now I'm still searching and searching
For the thing that'll stop my crying and started to smile
Someone who'll erase my fears of darkness
For the person who'll wipe my tears of sorrow
There was no one

/*-*/. . . Wortheless . . ./*-*/

Avoiding all the previous memories of our truth and expression
Telling lies toward their friends and old friends which never happened
Love is very complicated, but with the previous memories of light
That person will remember in the area which might have enjoyed with good times
Returning back again, but with the same looks hoping for remembering
Memories shall be lost forever. Thank you for returning back

I'm not good at taking in slow, but the pain is more
Hoping that you would already know by now
Different opening doors lead into a different path of destiny
Waiting is not something I do often as much
I feel like I have lost you and know you much more
Looking at that person once again brings back previous years
But, I will always wait for you

/*-*/. . . Confused . . ./*-*/

It has been so many years since that day
It was my special day which I heard you say
It is not the time for us just yet
And never did I once forget
The good memories that we have made
That you were also waiting
As I waited for you

Every moment that I always watch in the distance
It is like there is no time stopping or going forward
Time goes on and so it did without a pause
Just like destiny would reply back without a pause
It is not now or never to wait
But I said to destiny I'd wait forever

/*-*/. . . Broken . . ./*-*/

The sense of being alone is one sad place to be
No one helped that would break out my darkness and guide through the pure light
The need for friendship is very universal
People would always stick together as an collective or an family
This is literally what is needed to survie in each day
Today our world tend to spread out and love more isolated in style
In other ways we had it better when we live in close proximity

Our society has devolved which alot of people might discriminate others
Before long, I had many friends back in school
Everything got lost and broken which no one knows I existed
They would not know or seen the true form of character who I am
Even with sense of being discriminated, lost, broekn, picked, bullied I always smiled
Day by day

(1) There was something missing. . .

(2) I couldn't go on, and I was slowly dying. . .

Moving around different school allowed me to meet new people and popularity
Although a lot of people would think that I'm dead silent or quiet
It is not the case and the more I fake with my personality
The more I could avoid is to wait and wait
In all based in life is time

/*-*/. . . Nothing. . ./*-*/

Deep inside I still felt really empty
I felt that I got lost and was missing
Even when I was struggling for help no one even helped
Having nobody comfort me
Your true expression with the warm heart will know me more
I'm always here waiting for someone
I'm always here waiting for you

I carry on smiling til the current day, and ignore my past
Hoping one day they would come back and truly understand
Till then, I'll be here...(w)aiting
Behind all the smiles were the (t)ears
Behind all the comfort were the (f)ears
Everything you think you see around me
Wasn't everything there for me
I'm always here waiting for you